Wishing and Sneezing

Pain in the ass

A grown-up sees the dandelion and groan, anticipating swollen, itchy eyes and a nose turned red and stuffy from sneezing. She reaches for Zyrtec, Claritin, or Flonase and wishes the hateful spores dead.

A gardener sees the dandelion and grimaces at the boorish weed invading his oh-so-proper lawn. Plants that don’t know to stay off the grass don’t deserve life. The yard warrior reaches for a hoe or a bottle of Roundup, meeting the advancing horde of misfit flora with lethal, overwhelming force.

A child sees the dandelion and squeals with delight. She gently grasps its stem and plucks it from the earth, amazed at its beauty. Closing her eyes, she draws in a deep breath and makes a wish before blowing with all her might. Then, she laughs as the spores scatter in the wind, fully believing that they’re hurrying off to make her secret desire come true.

Who decided dandelions are weeds and not fulfillers of wishes? The world would be a happier place if that old grouch had just kept his mouth shut.

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